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5 Books to Read Before Getting Married

Crystal Barrow

Something I am very happy that my husband and I did before we got married was read together.  We would always read books to better ourselves and our relationship.  There are 4 books in particular that I am happy that we both read before we got married.  

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman 

  • If you have not heard of this book, pick it up now! This book has helped me better understand my love needs as well as understand my husband's love needs.  This book lays out the five different love languages which are:  Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.  This book has helped both of us gain a better understanding of one another and how we can fill each other’s love tanks.  By knowing your partner’s primary love language, it allows for you to know how to meet their needs and gain a stronger relationship bond. 

The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language by Bethany Palmer and Scott Palmer

  • This is another great book to read.  Behind basic incompatibility and infidelity, money issues are the third major reason that people end in divorce based on research done by the institute for divorce financial analysis.  This book discusses the five money personalities which are: Savers, Spenders, Risk Takers, Security Seekers and Flyers.  This book really breaks down how the different money personalities can complement and hinder one another.  Finding out what your money personality is and that of your significant other can help deter future arguments and allow for strategies to be put in place to prevent them.  

The Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives by Lewis Howes

  • This book helped me a lot with understanding how many men cope with life.  I grew up around mostly women so there were a few traits that tend to be more masculine that I didn't quite understand.  This book helped me better understand the different masks that men hide behind and how those masks can be removed.  The author used real-life examples so that it would be easier for people to relate and determine the root problem in order for that mask to be removed to meet the goal of becoming your best self.  This is a useful book for women as well as it helped me learn a lot more about myself.  

Relationship Goals by Michael Todd

  • Michael Todd tackles hard relationship questions and how they align with God’s design for our lives.  He boldly addresses relationship questions in all areas of our lives in order to work toward success concerning dating dynamics, social media, friendships and how to “do” family instead of just being “in” family.  He addressed the topic of relational success and how to work toward it.
  • We didn't specifically read a book but my husband and I looked into what our attachment styles are.  The different attachment styles based off of the Attachment Theory are: Secure, Anxious, Fearful-Avoidant and Avoidant. The specific attachment style is how an individual relates to someone they have a relationship with. Understanding the different attachment styles helped us better understand one another and how our past had caused us to have a certain attachment style and behaviors.  Attachment styles can change over time.

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